just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize