I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
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