I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize