I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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