My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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