They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
me + whiskey = a bad person
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize