How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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