Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
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