I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize