It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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