Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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