He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
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I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
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the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
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