I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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