Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize