I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Screwed.edu
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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