I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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