the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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