they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize