I could make wine with my vomit
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Randomize