Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
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next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
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And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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