I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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