2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize