Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
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we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
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Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
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