dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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