a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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