I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
now i know why i became what i already was.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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