This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Terrible idea I love it
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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