ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
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I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
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I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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