I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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