...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I think my moral compass just broke
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize