Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize