Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
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