Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize