I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
The struggles of a small town man whore
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize