first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize