I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
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Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
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You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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