put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize