I seem to have left my pride at pride
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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