I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
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