just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
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