u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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