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In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
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