Texts From Last Night

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  (541): View more from Oregon

  In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?

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  (541): In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it? http://tfl.nu/ati9
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.

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  (202): Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help. http://tfl.nu/hn4q
  Replies (4) Good night (2967) Bad night (454) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  operation "beaches make me wet" is a go

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  (734): operation "beaches make me wet" is a go http://tfl.nu/4jca
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  (954): View more from Florida

  you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.

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  (954): you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you. http://tfl.nu/vwt4
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.

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  (318): I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry. http://tfl.nu/98cc
  Replies (9) Good night (6108) Bad night (1295) Order T-Shirt
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  (234): View more from Ohio

  If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.

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  (234): If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again. http://tfl.nu/4l5p
  Replies (6) Good night (2772) Bad night (830) Order T-Shirt
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?

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  (801): Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car? http://tfl.nu/7rvc
  Replies (4) Good night (2342) Bad night (966) Order T-Shirt
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  i think i left a case of beer in your dryer

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  (240): i think i left a case of beer in your dryer http://tfl.nu/dfij
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  (352): View more from Florida

  One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.

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  (352): One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday. http://tfl.nu/0mor
  Replies (8) Good night (2502) Bad night (670) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire

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  (818): I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire http://tfl.nu/rfl8
  Replies (6) Good night (5637) Bad night (595) Order T-Shirt
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night

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  (919): So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night http://tfl.nu/rd80
  Replies (6) Good night (663) Bad night (1559) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck

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  (+44): it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck http://tfl.nu/0y2l
  Replies (6) Good night (1820) Bad night (364) Order T-Shirt
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!

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  (702): But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder! http://tfl.nu/rxkw
  Replies (12) Good night (951) Bad night (318) Order T-Shirt
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.

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  (757): According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home. http://tfl.nu/o9bo
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (229)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.

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  (202): I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs. http://tfl.nu/lsp5
  Replies (11) Good night (514) Bad night (256) Order T-Shirt

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