nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I'm at about main and main street
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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