Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
My cat gives me a boner
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
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