thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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