He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize