hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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