Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize