I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
He did a backflip because drugs
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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