Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
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apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
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Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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